<div dir="ltr">Eccomi ... con estremo ritardo, ma le ultime due settimane non ho avuto veramente respiro.<div><br></div><div>Ottimo inizio! Brava! :-)</div><div><br></div><div>
<br class="gmail-Apple-interchange-newline">Il giorno 12 febbraio 2018 21:53, Com. Dewey Finn<span> </span><span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:dewey_finn@crepuscolo.it" target="_blank" style="color:rgb(17,85,204)">dewey_finn@crepuscolo.it</a>></span><span> </span>ha scritto:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0px 0px 0px 0.8ex;border-left:1px solid rgb(204,204,204);padding-left:1ex"><div bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><p style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:small;font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial">Per quanto riguarda il brano, a parte un po' di errori di battitura (le maiuscole sono sparite praticamente tutte), c'è un po' di confusione nella parte della simulazione. Sono in tre: il tenente Yamada, il guardiamarina Pers e lo specialista McCarthy. Solo che poi il guardiamarina diventa di colpo tenente mentre sono fuori della grotta prima dell'attacco.<br></p><p style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:small;font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial">Vabbeh niente di che era solo per avvertire il capo così lo corregge prima di metterlo online.</p></div></blockquote></div><div><br></div><div><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:small;font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;float:none;display:inline">Come segnalato dalla nostra rockst ... ehm, dal nostro Numero uno, c'è bisogno di una maggiore attenzione nella battitura del testo (maiuscole e segni di interpunzione), in primis perché ne aumentano la godibilità da parte dei giocatori che lo leggono la prima volta, in secundis </span>per evitarmi di dover mettere pesantemente mano al brano prima della pubblicazione. Se sfugge qualcosa, nessun problema ... ma se devo correggere qualcosa di sistematico, mi si triplica il lavoro e "affogo". ;-)</div><div><br></div><div>Oltre alla segnalazione sul "Tenente", ti segnalo che i flashback vanno segnalati così:</div><div><br></div><div>
<span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:Calibri;font-size:14.6667px;font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;float:none;display:inline">*** Luogo imprecisato,<span> </span></span><br style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:Calibri;font-size:14.6667px;font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:Calibri;font-size:14.6667px;font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;float:none;display:inline">13/01/2395, Ore 15:30 – D.S. 72034.65***</span>
<br></div><div><br></div><div>
<span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:Calibri;font-size:14.6667px;font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;float:none;display:inline">Il tenente e lo specialista si ritrovarono a meno di cento metri dall’apertura del nascondiglio dei rapitori del tenente...</span><br></div><div><br></div><div>[CUT]</div><div><br></div><div>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 8pt;font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;line-height:11.55pt;font-size:12pt;font-family:"Times New Roman""><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri"><font color="#ff0000">*** FLASHBACK ***</font><br>USS Seatiger, Ufficio del Capitano<span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 8pt;color:rgb(34,34,34);font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;line-height:11.55pt;font-size:12pt;font-family:"Times New Roman""><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri">12/01/2395, Ore 16:25 – D.S. 72034.75***<span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 8pt;color:rgb(34,34,34);font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;line-height:11.55pt;font-size:12pt;font-family:"Times New Roman""><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri">Con passo deciso Yamada percorreva i corridoi che l’avrebbero portata nell’ufficio del capitano, tra se passava in rassegna gli ultimi eventi che l’avevano coinvolta cercando di<span> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 8pt;color:rgb(34,34,34);font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;line-height:11.55pt;font-size:12pt;font-family:"Times New Roman""><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri"><span>[CUT]</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 8pt;color:rgb(34,34,34);font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;line-height:11.55pt;font-size:12pt;font-family:"Times New Roman""><br></p>C'è inoltre un'imprecisione ...<br>Dal mio brano:<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 8pt;color:rgb(34,34,34);font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;line-height:11.55pt;font-size:12pt;font-family:"Times New Roman""><br></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 8pt;color:rgb(34,34,34);font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;line-height:11.55pt;font-size:12pt;font-family:"Times New Roman"">
</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 8pt;color:rgb(34,34,34);font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;line-height:15.4px;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><span style="font-size:11pt;background-color:rgb(255,255,0)"><i style="">*** USS Seatiger, Ufficio del Capitano</i></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 8pt;color:rgb(34,34,34);font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;line-height:15.4px;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><span style="font-size:11pt;background-color:rgb(255,255,0)"><i>12/01/2395, Ore 10:55 – D.S. 72031.39 ***</i></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 8pt;color:rgb(34,34,34);font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;line-height:15.4px;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><i style="background-color:rgb(255,255,0)">[CUT]</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 8pt;color:rgb(34,34,34);font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;line-height:15.4px;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><span style="background-color:rgb(255,255,0)"><i>“Convochi gli ufficiali superiori per un briefing in sala tattica subito dopo pranzo …convochi anche i vice responsabili della sezione scientifica e della sezione sicurezza… e …” ma non riuscì a completare la sua richiesta.</i></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 8pt;color:rgb(34,34,34);font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;line-height:15.4px;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><i style="background-color:rgb(255,255,0)">[CUT]</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 8pt;color:rgb(34,34,34);font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);line-height:15.4px;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif">Yamada dovrebbe aver appreso della sua assegnazione nel briefing subito dopo pranzo, non dopo nell'ufficio del Capitano.<br>Magari la risolviamo senza stravolgere il tuo brano semplicemente eliminando dal mio la convocazione dei vice responsabili al briefing.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 8pt;color:rgb(34,34,34);font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:normal;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:start;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);line-height:15.4px;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif">Che ne pensi?</p>
<p></p>Attendo una revisione del brano.</div><div>Grazie!</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Michele<br clear="all"><div><br></div>-- <br><div class="gmail_signature" data-smartmail="gmail_signature">=========================================<br>OOOO<br>Capt. Arjan Kenar<br>Commanding Officer USS Seatiger NCC-72733<br>ICQ Combadge: 126295405<br>Private comunicator: <a href="mailto:arjiankenar@gmail.com" target="_blank">arjiankenar@gmail.com</a><br><a href="http://starfleetitaly.it/seatiger" target="_blank">http://starfleetitaly.it/seatiger</a><br>=========================================</div>
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